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01 April 2007 @ 04:43 pm
This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase  
Addison lay in the bed after surgery, Nancy had explained to her everything that had happened. How they had Addison under for longer as they tried to save everything they could but Nancy knew it was better just to give up and abort the baby surgically. She explained that all the stress that Addison's body had just piled on top of each other and the cat fight with 'The slutty intern' (Nancy's words) had just topped everything off and if hadn't happened then, it was going to happen anyway.

Addison had asked Derek and Mark to leave her alone as she really didn't want to see anyone who could ever get her pregnant in her room, in a tone that proved she wasn't to be messed with. Sitting in the bed, with dried tears stuck to her face. She couldn't cry anymore. She felt empty and numb. She could feel anything except the pain from the surgery.

Hearing the door open, she didn't even bother to look at who it was. She didn't want to move, she had lost the one thing she wanted most in the world. She knew Derek and Mark would be struggling but she didn't want to be around either of them.

Waiting for the person who had opened the door to speak, she just looked at the celling, tears pooling in her eyes again.
 
 
Current Location: Addison's hospital room
Current Mood: numbnumb
 
 
 
Dr. Callie Torresdr_c_torres on April 1st, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC)
Callie couldn't believe how terrible Addison looked terrible, like she was in so much pain phyiscally and emotionally. Pieces of her red hair stuck to her tear stained face. In her eyes there was no emotion, they were just blank.

Callie sighed and took a step forward and then another she had to place one foot in front of another. Addison needed her, they were friends And if Addison didn't want Derek or Mark, it was Callie's job to be there as the bed friend. She hadn't wanted to come at first, she had been so happy the day before when she found out and now it had all been ripped away from her over a stupid fight. George had convinced her to come, It's what friends do, Callie

She grabbed the box of tissues and pulled a few out, handing them to Addison before sitting down in the chair next to her bed. "I'm so sorry Addison," she whispered reaching for her hand. "How are you feeling?"

dr_addison_f_m on April 1st, 2007 04:05 pm (UTC)
Addison looked over at Callie as she spoke, she couldn't push Callie away. She didn't want to lose her as a friend and it wasn't like she was that popular around the hospital. Biting her lip to stop herself from crying again as she took the tissues from Callie. Not doing anything with them she just played with them in her hand.

As Addison felt Callie take her hand she had to fight harder not to cry. She didn't want to cry anymore it just seemed to make her feel worse and it make the line across her stomach hurt even more.

"I feel awful." Addison told Callie, it felt as if her whole life had just ended and crashed in a matter of seconds. She had had Nancy just old her and watch her cry for almost half an hour than had to go and tell Richard what had happened. "I... I feel numb and empty." Addison explained to her, letting her eyes close as a tear rolled down her cheek.
Dr. Callie Torres: Stare Downdr_c_torres on April 1st, 2007 04:28 pm (UTC)
Seeing Addison tears falling Callie grabbed a few more tissues and wiped at Addison's cheeks. There was really nothing to say. She had wanted that baby and now it was gone. Callie couldn't even begin to understand, when she was pregnant, she hadn't wanted the baby. It wasn't a grief feeling it had been guilt. The one feeling guilt right now should have been Meredith.

"There can be others Addison," Callie said gently as she slid from the chair to sit on the edge of the bed. "With Mark."
dr_addison_f_m on April 1st, 2007 04:45 pm (UTC)
Addison looked up at Callie and slowly shook her head. She had no clue how long Mark and her were going to last after last night. She had a feeling they weren't even together right now. She also knew that with this surgery, the chances getting pregnant after dropped and she had never had a patient who had been pregnant since.

"I.. I don't think so." Addison whispered, looking at the tissues in her hand. "The chances of getting pregnant after are slim and I don't even know if Mark is still with me." Addison pointed out. Last night may have been the end to Mark and Addison.
Dr. Callie Torres: Stare Downdr_c_torres on April 1st, 2007 04:49 pm (UTC)
"What?" Callie asked, rasing an eye brow at her friend. Then she thought back to the moring and the cofee cart and flirting with Mark, basically throwing herself at him. It had been a mistake, but they hadn';t done anything so, io......"Why do you say that? Because he's still sitting outside of your room."
dr_addison_f_m on April 1st, 2007 04:56 pm (UTC)
"I told him I hated him then I never wanted to see him again." Addison admitted. Moving her eyes contact from Callie to the wall. She couldn't believe everything that had gone on over the past 24 hours. It had just happened so quickly. One minute she was pregnant and the next she wasn't. She knew nothing could have been done otherwise it was likely Addison would have just bled out and wouldn't be here now.

"And stuff happened." Addison added, not wanting to saw that Mark broke out in tears then had angry sex. She had to keep that to herself knowing her and Mark would be over if she told anyone that he had cried.
Dr. Callie Torres: Stare Downdr_c_torres on April 1st, 2007 05:05 pm (UTC)
"Why would you say that to Mark? I thought....." Callie trailed off. It didn't really mtter what she thought. All that mattered was that she was there for Addison. "This mwill all work out Addison," she assured.
dr_addison_f_m on April 1st, 2007 05:22 pm (UTC)
Addison bit her lip, pulling her legs up to her chest as she wrapped her arms around them, trying not to get her IV caught. Placing her head on her arms she burst out into tears. Everything was just getting too much for her now. She couldn't cope. Everything had happened this week. Derek, Mark and now the baby. She had a feeling she had just lost all three and just wanted to give up and a part of her wished that Nancy just let her bleed out.
Dr. Callie Torres: Stare Downdr_c_torres on April 1st, 2007 05:27 pm (UTC)
Callie moved Addison's IV as not to get caught in it. She moved to sit next to her, kicking her shoes off and curling into the same position next to her friend. She placed a comforting arm around Addison and gently rubbed her back. There was nothing to say, just to be there.
dr_addison_f_m on April 1st, 2007 05:55 pm (UTC)
Addison moved her head so it was resting against Callie's shoulders. Just letting the tears fall. It wasn't fair. Sure she had done things she should of but she had seen worse people walk out with healthy new born babies.

"It's... It's not fair." Addison sobbed out as she held onto Callie's scrub top.
Dr. Callie Torres: Stare Downdr_c_torres on April 1st, 2007 06:35 pm (UTC)
Callie rubbed her back and placed her cheek aganist the top of Addison's head. She was right, this wasn't fair. She deserved to be happy, she was great person and she had wanted that baby so badly. "No, Addie," Callie whispered. "It's not fair."
dr_addison_f_m on April 1st, 2007 06:40 pm (UTC)
Addison buried her face into Callie's shoulder, gripping onto her scrub top with all the energy she had left in her body. She knew she had to pick herself up someday but this state just seemed so easy and she was wanted to give up.

"I can't cope." Addison sobbed out, her tear following more freely now. "I can't live like this."
Dr. Callie Torresdr_c_torres on April 1st, 2007 06:55 pm (UTC)
She nodded and chewed on her bottom lip. Maybe Addison she just needed to cry and feel as if she was being heard instead of being told how she should have been feeling or coping with this. "You can, but fall apart if you need to Addison. I'm not going anywhere."
dr_addison_f_m on April 1st, 2007 07:08 pm (UTC)
Addison nodded as she tightened her grip on Callie. She didn't want to cry anymore. She didn't want to and she also didn't want Callie to see her like this. The only other people who had seen her like this are Derek, Savvy and Mark. She had known them for years and had only seen her mostly like this when her father died.

"I can't fall apart." Addison sobbed out, hiccuping every so often as she tried to stop the tears.
Dr. Callie Torres: Surpriseddr_c_torres on April 1st, 2007 07:24 pm (UTC)
"Shhhh," Callie soothed rubbing her back. Addison could fall apart, she probably needed to fall apart so she could regrouo and get it all back together when she was ready. This had to be done on her own terms.

"I'm here, no one else has to know that you fell apart."
dr_addison_f_m on April 1st, 2007 07:27 pm (UTC)
"No, I'm fine." Addison sniffed, slowly getting rid of the tears. She couldn't break. She didn't want to break. It wasn't her. It was impossible. It wasn't her. She just didn't break. Pulling slightly away from Callie she looked up at her friend, her eyes suddenly numb.

"I'm fine."
Dr. Callie Torres: Surpriseddr_c_torres on April 1st, 2007 07:31 pm (UTC)
Callie sighed as she looked at Addison, she wasn't fine. She was just about as fine as Callie had been at Joe's. That wasn't fine. She was lying, but it wasn't best to push Addison. She had been pushed by Meredith enough for one day.

"Alright, you're fine," Callie shrugged. "When you're ready to tell the truth, I'm here."
dr_addison_f_m on April 1st, 2007 07:37 pm (UTC)
Addison looked at Callie and put on a fake smile. She didn't cry in front of people unless they were Mark, Derek or Sav. They knew her for over the past 16 years each.

"I am telling you the truth." Addison told Callie, biting her lip and looking at Callie, trying to act like she was fine.
Dr. Callie Torresdr_c_torres on April 1st, 2007 07:44 pm (UTC)
Callie moved away from Addison and picked up the tissues, "yeah you're fine."

If ddison didn't want her there, she wasn't going to stick around, that was for sure.
dr_addison_f_m on April 1st, 2007 07:46 pm (UTC)
Addison looked up at Callie as she moved away. What was so doing? She couldn't go. She couldn't just leave her. It wasn't fair.

"What? Where are you going?" Addison asked as she looked at Callie, her eyes begging her not to leave.
Dr. Callie Torresdr_c_torres on April 1st, 2007 07:48 pm (UTC)
Callie chewed on her bottom lip as she sat down in the chair again, pulling a knee up to her chest as she watched Addison. This was going to be interesting.
dr_addison_f_m on April 1st, 2007 08:01 pm (UTC)
Addison watched Callie, fighting back any tears in her eyes. Biting the inside of her lip she actually knew she couldn't cry anymore. "What?" Addison asked, trying to work out why she was looking at her like that.
Dr. Callie Torres: Stare Downdr_c_torres on April 1st, 2007 08:03 pm (UTC)
Callie shook her head, "Nothing," she replied quietly.
dr_addison_f_m on April 1st, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
Addison took a deep breath, playing with the tissue in her hand trying to think about anything but the baby but it was all she could think about. She felt empty.

"It was the only thing of Derek I have left." Addison admitted, biting on the skin of her thumb.
Dr. Callie Torres: Stare Downdr_c_torres on April 1st, 2007 09:16 pm (UTC)
Callie nodded. The baby had been the last single tie to Derek she had and she guessed, Addison had wanted that tie. "Maybe it's just time to start clean. No attachments to anyone. Work on a relationship with Mark or anyone else you want."
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