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05 April 2007 @ 02:28 pm
I know your sorry.  
Derek sat in his office. Thinking and thinking. Some tears still rolled down his cheeks but he was able to control them. He was so attach to the baby even though he didn't know that he was going to be a father for too long. Derek debated over and over again if he should talk to Meredith. He knew she's sorry. But it was just hard to forgive her or even to talk to her. It was hard for him. He wasn't sure what to say and he could forgive Meredith that easily. Derek decided to page Meredith to his office. He sat at his desk, with his elbows leaning against the desk and his head hanging forward. He didn't know what he was going to say. He had nothing planned, he hoped he would think of something before she came.

As Derek was sitting at his desk he began crying. He couldn't hold it it, it was difficult. Even though he laid with Addison, it made him feel slightly better. He hoped she felt better too. Laying with Addison made Derek a bit closer to her even though their in the process of getting a divorce, it didn't matter. Derek wiped his eyes dry before hearing a knock on the door. "Come in." Derek said as he sat up straight.
meredithhhhhhhh on April 5th, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
Meredith stepped into Derek's office and shut the door behind her. She had been crying, you could see it all over her face! Meredith could tell Derek had been crying. She had said she was sorry a million times and she knew that Derek got the point. So she decided to take another approuch.

"Hey You!" she said standing practicly in the doorway.
drshepherd on April 5th, 2007 06:47 pm (UTC)
Derek had his eyes closed until he heard the door closed. "Hi." Derek replied softly. Meredith seemed excited and happy, which Derek was the total opposite. He was depressed and sad. He didn't know why she was so happy. Derek leaned forward again and leaned against his desk "You seem happy." Derek said as he wiped his eyes.
meredithhhhhhhh on April 5th, 2007 06:49 pm (UTC)
Meredith shook her head. "Just hiding my pain!" she said. Meredith hoped Derek would remember that that was what he had said the night the two of them met and started this thing.
drshepherd on April 5th, 2007 10:01 pm (UTC)
"Well I can't." Derek replied as he glared at Meredith, tears rolling down his cheeks. He wiped them quickly before Meredith could even noticed the tears. "We need to talk." Derek told Meredith, not knowing what he was going to say to her. He just knew that they needed to talk. Derek didn't know how to move on with Meredith.
meredithhhhhhhh on April 5th, 2007 10:13 pm (UTC)
Meredith nodded and took a seat across from Derek. This was honestly killing her inside but Meredith knew it was killing him so she decided to go with the i'm here for you side not the i'm crying feel bad for me too side and apparently Derek didn't get it, or it wasn't working. "I know we do" said Meredith in a serious tone. She knew he was going to end it. She knew that Derek and Meredith were over and the sad thing is they had just gotten to a perfect point. He was going to take down the trailer and build them a house. They were going somewhere and the fight between his about to be ex girlfriend and his about to be ex wife ended it!
drshepherd on April 6th, 2007 03:19 pm (UTC)
Derek nodded his head. He didn't know what to say, he had absolutely nothing planned at all. He was going to wing it. "I... I can't get back with you. at least not now." Derek told Meredith, straight out. He couldn't move on at this point. Even if he got back with Meredith, he still needed to be there for Addison and it just wouldn't work out. He would probably be spending more time with Addison, he's the only person who is there for her. And Derek needed to be there, with Addison for himself not only for her. He needs to move on and he will, it just takes time. "I'm sorry." Derek stated, wiping his eyes once again.
meredithhhhhhhh on April 6th, 2007 03:25 pm (UTC)
Meredith's heart just broke into a million pieces. She kneeled over and felt as if she couldn't breathe. Tears were streaming down her eyes. She had lost her McDreamy and live just turned dark & twisty again. Mereditu stood up and walked towards the door. She couldn't handle this! It was killing her! "I'm going to...um I'm gonna....go" said meredith with her hand on the door.
drshepherd on April 6th, 2007 05:01 pm (UTC)
Derek looked down, hearing Meredith stand up and walk toward his office door. "Meredith..." Derek called out as he looked up at her. "All I need is time, thats it." Derek told her. He needed time to get over the lost of Addison and his baby. He just needed some time, some space and who knows how long it may take him. "Just time." Derek repeated softly as he looked down at his hands.
meredithhhhhhhh on April 6th, 2007 05:22 pm (UTC)
Meredith nodded and continued to cry. She couldn't believe this was happeneing! "I'm just...I'm gonna go." Meredith knew this was mostly her fault but Derek didn't have to break her heart. Meredith was shaking. She felt as if her world had just ended.
drshepherd on April 6th, 2007 06:41 pm (UTC)
Derek nodded his head. "I'm sorry." Derek told Meredith. "I'm confused, thats all." Derek told her, hoping he would understand. He was confused about a lot of things, but mainly what to do. He wasn't sure if he should get back with Meredith. He wasn't sure if even still loved her. "Stay. lets talk." Derek suggested, wiping his eyes for the millionth time.
meredithhhhhhhh on April 6th, 2007 06:51 pm (UTC)
Meredith sighed and turned around. She went over to the seat she got got up from and sat down. "Okay..." she said quietly trying not to look at the man who just broke her heart. For the 2nd time.
drshepherd on April 6th, 2007 09:07 pm (UTC)
"I know you love me..." Derek said as he looked down. This was hard for him. He didn't know if he loves Meredith. "I don't know if I love you." Derek told Meredith, knowing it would be hard to hear. "Before today if you were to ask me if I love you. The answer would be yes. But now I'm confused." Derek explained. He wasn't sure if Meredith understood him or not.
meredithhhhhhhh on April 6th, 2007 09:14 pm (UTC)
Meredith fell to the ground. She couldn't believe Derek was saying this to her! She had made a mistake but she didn't think it was worth not loving her over it. She started crying to the point where he couldn't even understand what she was saying. "I'm sorry Derek!" she said when she caught her breath. "I never thought you'd break my heart 2 times though!" she looked away from him. This was a lot for her to handle. Especially when she just got the news that her mother was going to die within a month.
drshepherd on April 6th, 2007 09:23 pm (UTC)
"Mer..." Derek said as he got up and went to Meredith's side. "I'm sorry too." Derek replied. "I'm not saying that I will never love you again. It's just... there is too much going on." Derek told Meredith as he wiped his eyes. "I have to be there for Addison, no one else is there for her. And we have a connection. It's easier if for now that I help her get back to her feet." Derek said, not making eye contact with Meredith. He didn't want to bring Meredith into everything. He didn't want to get back with her right away, it would hurt Addison even more if he was. And Addison didn't need to be hurt anymore.
meredithhhhhhhh on April 6th, 2007 09:32 pm (UTC)
Meredith shook her head and stood up. She was about ot break down but she didn't want to do it in front of him. "I need to go..." she said as tears streamed down the sides of her face. "I've given you everything I have and yeah that may not be a lot but it is all i can give. I made a mistake. I'm so sorry but that doesn't allow you to break my heart. For the second time too."
drshepherd on April 6th, 2007 09:40 pm (UTC)
Derek grabbed Meredith's wrist. "I'm not trying to break your heart, I'm just being honest." Derek told her as he looked into her eyes. "All thats going through my mind is the lost of my baby and how to help Addison, nothing else." Derek explained. Nothing else mattered to him at this point. "Just give me time." Derek stated. All he needed was time to think and time to grieve.
meredithhhhhhhh on April 6th, 2007 09:44 pm (UTC)
Meredith nodded and gave Derek and simple peck. "I love you. I always will!" she smiled and gave Derek a quick hug. "You have your key when you're ready to forgive me just come on in okay?" she hoped Derek would come in soon and not make her wait and go through the pain she did only months ago.
drshepherd on April 6th, 2007 10:06 pm (UTC)
"I know Mer, I know." Derek replied as he wrapped his arms around her for a hug. "I will." Derek replied as he nodded his head. Derek pulled away from the hug and gave Meredith a quick kiss on her cheek. "Just be patient. I know that will be hard for you." Derek told Meredith with a small weak smile. He couldn't smile while he was still grieving.
meredithhhhhhhh on April 6th, 2007 10:10 pm (UTC)
Meredith nodded and bit her lip. "It will be hard but I'll do it for you! I'll do anything for you! You're my world. You're my rock. But are you and Addison staying together?" thats the one question Meredith didn't want answered but needed the answer to.
drshepherd on April 6th, 2007 10:27 pm (UTC)
Derek nodded his head. "I know you would do anything for me." Derek replied, looking down. Derek shrugged his shoulders. "I don't think so." Derek said. He actually wasn't sure. "I signed the divorce papers and after finding out about the baby. I wasn't going to stay with her just for the baby." Derek told Meredith.
meredithhhhhhhh on April 7th, 2007 06:10 am (UTC)
Meredith nodded and was a bit relived. She would hate to loose her used to be Derek to his about to be ex wife. "Okay...I'm going to miss you!" said Meredith turning her head away from Derek and letting a tear escape her eye. "a lot!" she siad.
drshepherd on April 7th, 2007 01:40 pm (UTC)
Derek nodded his head. "I know." Derek replied. He looked down at his hands. He knew Meredith would miss him. and Derek would probably miss Meredith too if he wasn't so focused on Addison. Since Mark left her she feels alone and Derek doesn't want her to feel like that after loosing the baby, though she probably does.
meredithhhhhhhh on April 7th, 2007 03:38 pm (UTC)
Meredith smiled a sad weeak smile to Derek before standing up. She felt there was no reason for her to stay and now that the two of them weren't together anymore she couldn't just stay to be with him. On her way to the door Meredith picked Derek's head up and gave him a sweet lingering peck on the lips. God she would miss those lips! She just hoped those lips weren't going to touch Addison's! "Goodbye Derek...." she said in a sad tone.
drshepherd on April 8th, 2007 04:37 pm (UTC)
Derek looked up at Meredith for a moment when she picked up his head. He was surprised by the kiss. Derek was kissed by his soon to be ex-wife and his girlfriend or ex-girlfriends. How ever you want to see it. "Bye Meredith." Derek replied as he looked back down. He didn't know what to do. It was too much for him and he was so confused.